


Absence

by cecilantro



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-19 01:07:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14863766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cecilantro/pseuds/cecilantro
Summary: The Gentleman splits up the Nein into three groups for a month to complete some jobs for one another.Caleb discovers that absence does a number on the heart.





	Absence

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, this is it! the 100th daily ficlet!  
> and the last 8( sorry yall. maybe ill be back one day. idk. my mental health comes first.
> 
> If you're just arriving here, hello! I'm luke and for the past 100 days I've been writing a little CR ficlet, mostly Widomauk!  
> I've stopped, though, because I keep getting comments about my formatting that I just... don't need, because I format for the way that *I* read best, not other people, and I'm mostly writing for myself anyway.  
> So this is the last of my daily ficlets! There's another 99 though, so go read those!   
> They total roughly 183,000 words, so there's plenty <3

It’s been about a month since The Mighty Nein was forced to split ways for the jobs the Gentleman essentially blackmailed them into doing. The first group, Jester and Fjord, because of  _ course _ the healer would go along with him. Jester had insisted, hard, on going along with him, he’d taken so many more risks lately. Gone down one time too many for the others to argue. Molly had kissed him goodbye, a gesture he insisted was purely a platonic motion, and the others had settled into that explanation if only for Jester’s benefit; it seemed that Yasha and Beau were the only ones without some kind of romantic interest for Fjord, and it was easier to smooth the way for them before they left.   
Molly and Yasha had taken off together, the same as they always had, side-by-side and too powerful for liking, taking Yasha’s ability to lay hands with them. Leaving, of course, Beau, Caleb, and Nott without any kind of healing, but the bulk of the Nein’s funds for potions.

 

Coming into their work had been difficult. A vampire creating a small army of spawn that only Caleb could effectively deal with. Melee fighting wasn’t nearly as effective against Vampires as magic was.    
When they came back, Caleb’s group had been the first, and the Gentleman had already set them up in The Leaky Tap, they’re too close to Wessik now to avoid the place. It’s easy to find them, yes, but it’s hard to get to them, with the inn under the pressured thumb of the underworld. Caleb and Beau collapse into bed, in a ‘family’ room, Nott in her own bed and the other two to a double until Yasha comes home, at least. A month ago, Caleb would have fought tooth and nail for the one single bed, he thinks, but he and Beau are closer now in inexplicable ways. He doesn’t know, any more, if he could sleep without her at his back. In a way, in some way, he trusts her now. He doesn’t  _ trust her _ but he trusts her, there’s different kinds and they still clash too much for that trust to be inherent but he can choose to trust her in situations now and once he’s made the decision, he doesn’t question it. One of those decisions happens to be sleeping, and for the first night they’re alone without the others, and sleep with their backs pressed together.

 

The morning that follows, they eat breakfast in their rooms, tired and aching but alive. And that’s just fine.    
They eat in clustered silence, a triangle on the floor, occasionally reaching out to one another and touching just lightly, making sure they’re all solid.   
“You saved my ass out there.” Beau says, and it’s normal volume,  shockingly quiet for Beau, “I’d be dead without you both.”   
“I would have been dead before we got there without you.” Caleb replies, monotone and eyes on the floor. Beau reaches out and catches his wrist, squishes briefly, lets go again. 

 

The next group to return is Jester and Fjord, about a week after Caleb, Nott, and Beau.   
They’re out in the street when they come back, Beau’s picked up the habit of smoke and prefers to do it ventilated, and where she goes now, so does Caleb. So she’s sat on the floor with a brazier, Caleb leans against the wall beside her taking practice shots from Nott using his Shield, he’s almost out of spells for the night.   
They hear their names called and all jump into combat position- Beau and Caleb come shoulder-to-shoulder at an angle, and Nott comes into the gap between them and aims.   
Then they see Jester, jumping and waving, a blue dot in the distance beside a green smudge. And Beau drops her arms and takes off before Caleb or Nott has the time to react.   
Jester streaks through the streets, too, and there’s a moment of wondering which will jump into the others arms, it ends up being Jester. She sails through the air and Beau forgets she’s more athletics than strength, they both go down hard, stopped from concussion only by Nott throwing out a feather and shouting down the street at them, casting Featherfall at the last second.   
They draw up to the duo about the same time Fjord does, and whilst Nott fusses over the girls, Caleb goes around to him and presses in, rests his head on Fjord’s shoulder plate.   
“I have missed you.” He tells Fjord calmly, and Fjord smiles down at him with the same tired look in his eyes that Beau and Caleb have. They have all seen things that they don’t want to talk about.   
“I missed you too, funnily enough. Weird, that, almost like we care about one another.”   
Caleb chuckles against him, and Jester and Beau finally stand up together.   
Caleb sees Jester’s face and steps in quickly, takes her chin in one hand to inspect the new scar across her eye. She matches Fjord.   
“What happened?”   
The elated smile fades a little, and that worries Caleb. She’s rarely serious, and he wonders if he even knows her now.   
“It was a  _ stupid _ move, Fjord, Fjord saved  _ me _ .” She spits, “I was  _ so _ dumb.”   
“Y’ saved my life first.” Fjord puts in, “Pushed me out of the way. Animated suits of armor, y’know? You were incredible, Jester, don’t put y’self down.”   
Caleb bundles her into a hug and she gives a squeak of shock.   
“Caleb? Hugs?”   
“Yeah, seems this guy carried a part of you with him.” Beau smiles as she comes up and throws an arm around his shoulders, “‘Bout a week in, he refused to sleep alone.”   
“Actually, it was the spirit of Mollymauk I was thinking of.” Caleb tells her as he pulls away from Jester and lets Nott in to his space. Jester has to crouch to hug her properly, but she does so, and Nott scrambles up her shoulders into a piggyback.   
“Th’ Gentleman said that we got a room at The Leaky Tap? Wessik’d give us our key.” From Fjord as they begin their way back, Beau’s brazier still smoking lazily from where she’d left it. She rushes ahead to extinguish it, and Caleb looks over his shoulder at Fjord,   
“ _ Ja _ , Wessik should just be starting his shift. He works overnight as far as we are aware, the tavern tends not to sleep.”   
“How long’ve you an’ Beau been back, then?” Fjord asks, coming up to Caleb’s side and slinging an arm over his shoulders.   
“About a week.” Caleb replies, pushing into Fjord’s warmth, “We’ve had the one room. It has been an oddly pleasant experience. Painful and exhausting, but still somewhat pleasant in the ways we relate to one another”   
“Y’ seem closer, ain’t seen you argue  _ once _ since Jester an’ I got back.” Fjord’s smile is sly for the subtle dig, and Caleb chuckles, tips his head to bonk gently against Fjord’s breastplate.   
“Do not play, Fjord, it is an achievement for us.”   
“Now that’s th’ truth.” Fjord squishes Caleb’s shoulders a little and lets go so that they can duck in the door and retrieve the second room key from Wessik.

“A’ight,” Fjord rolls his shoulders as they step into the second room, twin single beds, “Are we wantin’ to rearrange the sleepin’ arrangements? Or…”   
Jester and Beau look at one another,   
“We’d like to stay together, if that’s okay with you, Caleb?” Beau is the one to speak, Jester cuddles up to her as she does, “I know you’re used t’ sleepin’ with me, now, just…”   
“No! No, it’s fine, it’s okay, Beauregard, don’t worry.” Caleb assures, “I understand, there is no need to fret.”   
Beau crosses the short distance, breaking from Jester to come to him, and wraps one arm around him tightly. Briefly.   
“Thanks, Caleb.”   
“No worries.” He tells her, smiling, pushes his head against her arm, “Love you.”   
It’s become so commonplace now. So normal. He forgets that Jester and Fjord haven’t been around for that development, until he hears their intake of breath,   
“Love you too.” Beau assures over the sound of their gasps, squishes him and lets go. “Oh, an’ Nott, you can stay in our room if you want?”   
It’s unspoken that Beau and Jester will be sharing the double bed in the other room, and Nott nods eagerly, looking over her shoulder to Caleb as an afterthought, she doesn’t need to ask him if it’s okay, just needs to look and find him nodding.   
“That’d be great!” She turns back to grin at Beau, and the three girls shuffle out of the room to set up in their own. Nott promises she’ll bring Caleb’s stuff through.   
“So.” Fjord sits on the closest bed when they’re gone, “S’just me an’ you.”   
“And Mollymauk, I would assume, when he returns.” Caleb replies, shedding his coat onto the other bed.   
“ _ If _ he comes back.” Fjord says sharply, and Caleb freezes, “We ain’t heard from him an’ Yasha since they left. Anythin’ could’ve happened.”   
Caleb hadn’t considered, when they left, that he might never see Mollymauk again. If he had, it would not have been a handshake and half a hug over a mumbled  _ goodbye _ that he had given. Nowhere near.   
“Caleb? Y’okay?”    
Caleb flumps to the bed and buries his face in his hands.   
“What if he doesn’t come back, Fjord?”   
Fjord stares. And curses himself internally, a month of separation and he’d forgotten Caleb’s feelings for Molly. And vice versa, not that either would be convinced of the other’s reciprocation.   
“Hey, now, Molly’s strong. An’ he’s with Yasha, she won’t let him get hurt.” He backtracks over his own words, but he does believe them, which is something, “He’ll come home.”   
Caleb doesn’t move or reply, Fjord hears him evening out his breathing as best he can, and stands to make his way over. In a very  _ Mollymauk _ moment, he leans down to Caleb, and kisses his forehead.   
“He’ll come home, Caleb.” Fjord says, “An’ if he isn’t home in a couple o’ days, we’ll go, an we’ll  _ drag _ him home. Deal?”   
Caleb pulls his hands from his face to wrap around Fjord’s neck,   
“Thank you.” He says, coarse and quiet, and Fjord hugs back.

 

After Nott brings Caleb’s things through, they decide that they should probably sleep.   
Caleb has trouble sleeping alone, after so long pressed up against Beau, and he’s only just on the border and mostly awake when the door to their room opens and he’s up immediately, hands pulled to casting position and already glowing dimly with the beginning motions of a spell.   
“Sh, shh, sh.” Comes the reply from the silhouette, black on black, there’s a shift of what Caleb assumes is someone pressing their finger to their lips as they slip further into the room, and Caleb doesn’t stop gesturing until they come into the slither of moonlight.   
He can barely believe his eyes.   
“ _ Mollymauk _ .” He chokes out, it’s not quiet and Fjord sits bolt upright in bed as Caleb dashes the last couple of metres to throw his arms around Molly, dry sobbing into his shoulder.   
“Oh, this is a good welcome.” Molly replies, jovially, and ducks down a little to straight up lift Caleb off of the ground, one hand under each of his thighs and tugging him up. Fjord is busy lighting a lamp, and Molly decides that his bed is probably the best idea, flumping to sit down makes Caleb’s jaw clack painfully as he bounces on Molly’s knee, but he manages to avoid biting his tongue.   
Fjord gets the lamp lit and sits down beside them, pulls Mollymauk in, too, a tight hug for both of them.   
“See, Caleb, I told y’ he’d be fine.” He says, trying not to betray his own relief at Mollymauk’s reappearance. Molly chuckles,   
“You were talkin’ about me behind my back, hm?”   
“I thought you might be  _ dead _ .” Caleb chokes, and his grip on Molly turns crushing, “I did not even consider, when you left, that it may be the last time I saw you. And all I did was say goodbye.”   
“Ah, but what else could you have done?” Molly smiles, pushes Caleb at his chest until he moves back enough to see Molly’s face. He looks as tired as the others, and sports his own scarred patch of what would have been a burn, just under his left eye. But his eyes are intact and he’s watching Caleb with a curious warmth that draws him in, and Caleb doesn’t consider the ramifications, he’s so relieved. He just leans in, takes Molly’s jaw in one hand and kisses him hard. Molly makes a noise of pleased surprise as he sinks into the kiss, the arms he has around Caleb relaxing into more of a loose grip than a desperate one, he frees one hand to move to Fjord’s knee and squeeze gently, a reassurance that he’s not being left out. When Caleb draws back for breath, Molly moves his arm from Fjord’s knee to curl around him and squish them all together.   
“Best possible  _ welcome home _ I could have gotten. Almost, at least.”   
Fjord isn’t gentle in turning Molly by the chin to face him, isn’t gentle in the kiss he gives either, it’s a frustration of a month apart and time before that spent going back and forth with feelings. His and Molly’s for Caleb, his and Caleb’s for Molly, and he can only assume that Molly and Caleb did similar for him, now that the three of them are in a tired, war-weary pile of kissing and cuddles on Fjord’s bed.   
“We could push the beds together, I’m sure.” Caleb tells them as they kiss, “Mollymauk and I should be able to move one of them.   
“That,” Fjord says, breathless as he pulls away, “Is an  _ excellent _ idea. Though maybe you an’ I should do it, give Molly a chance to strip down.”   
“I am a little overdressed for the occasion.” Molly agrees, and steps up and aside to strip whilst Caleb and Fjord shift the beds together.   
They clamber in together in a pile of limbs when they’re all done, shuffling and debating as to who should be in the middle of the sandwich. They decide, eventually, on Molly, aching from the late arrival, Fjord and Caleb sling an arm each over him and snuggle in. Caleb kisses at Molly’s collarbone, Fjord at his knuckles as he drags their clasped hands to his lips. And then leans over Molly to kiss Caleb, as he realises he hasn’t  _ done _ that yet. He feels Caleb’s fingertips drag across the skin of his hip and then grab, bruisingly tight, suddenly desperate.   
“Hey, hey, hey,” Fjord soothes, breaking the kiss and dropping Molly’s hand, temporarily, to smooth Caleb’s hair back from his face, “What’s wrong? Why the panic?”   
Caleb pulls himself closer to them both.   
“If either of you had died in the last month, we would never have gotten here. It- it has reminded me, that I had forgotten, every day is- is important, is  _ special _ and that some risks must be taken.”   
Molly sits up, with difficulty, so that he can thread his fingers through Caleb’s hair and kiss him again, hard.   
“Darling, I hope you know that we’re notoriously hard to kill and going  _ nowhere _ .” He tells Caleb as he pulls both men back down to the mattress with him, “I always planned on coming back and confessing, you know? About two weeks in was when missing you got to be unbearable, and from there it was just… bad.”   
Caleb cuddles into Molly’s chest, like he can’t get close enough. It seems accurate, that analysis.   
He can’t get close enough.   
“We never split up again.” Caleb tells them, firmly, “If the Gentleman has an issue with this, that is too bad. I will go toe-to-toe with him before I leave you again.”   
“That’s a sentiment we can all get behind.” Fjord assures, strokes his fingers up and down Caleb’s arm, “Maybe for now, we just go t’ sleep together?”   
“For now.” Molly agrees and assures, and Caleb hums them all to silence, eyes close and arms squish and squeeze one another.

They will, they know, have to fight again. But for now, this feels to them like an ending of sorts, the ending of loneliness. They have one another now.

That will never change. 

**Author's Note:**

> It's been fun, y'all. Thanks for the memories <3
> 
> You can contact me on:  
> Tumblr:  
> Zemniannights (Critical Role art blog!)  
> mollymockerytealeaf (Main blog!)
> 
> Twitter  
> Alpha_Geminorum
> 
> Discord  
> taliesin is a pyramid#0700  
> (... yes. thats my username.)


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